digressing a bit...

why is dating in your 40s so different from dating in your 20s?  or teens?  remember those days?  you met someone, you like him, he like you, you give him your number & he calls the next day!  you make a date & go out; find out you do really like each other & like spending time together.  then he calls the day after the date!  no waiting time...he likes you!  you like him & take the call & you make plans to see each other again...soon!  boom!  you're dating each other, talking on the phone or by email or even seeing each other daily.  this relationship may last a month, or 3, 6, a year or longer, it doesn't matter how long it lasts but it gets started quickly.  i miss that.

as you get older, dating gets harder and there are more games.  i didn't start dating again until i was 36.  people have kids, & full-time, responsible jobs.  i get that.  but there's been no boom! in dating after 36.  you meet, you like each other, you give your number, then you wait.  usually a day or 2 for the first text or call.  then you meet & find out you do like each other, possibly have a great date, both leaving with smiles & maybe that first kiss.  then you wait.  most likely another day or 2.  oh yes, there is that text that evening of "had a great time" but no call or text asking you out for another couple of days.  by then you're wondering if he liked you after all...

then hey!  he calls, he wants to see you again!  great!  let's get this show on the road; find out if you're really compatible!  after figuring it out (you do have kids & need to get them taken care of after all) you decide on an evening, place & time.  there's none of this picking-you-up stuff because you don't want your kid to meet every tom, dick & harry you're going out with so you meet somewhere.  and have a wonderful time!  find out more about each other & find out you have many of the same interests.  then there's the goodnight kiss...damn what a kiss! (w/ me it's usually a make-out session in the parking lot :-).  i text "thanks for a great eve," he texts back "ur welcome" or "thank u!"  and then you don't hear from him the next day.  no worries - you already know how it is because you've been doing this dating thing for quite awhile now.  he'll probably call or text in a couple of days.  but what if he doesn't?

what happened?  you wonder?  he had as big a smile on his face as you did on yours when you parted.  what happened?  ugh!  your guy friends assure you it's not you that he's an idiot for not getting to know you more.  your girl friends figure he's really got a girlfriend but "you know how guys are" and decide your better off - they know this because they've been through it too.  and a really honest guy friend will tell you "he's just not that into you" & you deserve someone who is.

sigh...why can't dating now be more like it was in your teens or 20s?  no time wasted, let's figure this out & see where it goes. 

i finally watched Twilight last night.  i read all but the last book & loved them.  i love the teenage love story part of the series.  watching the movie reminded me of my first love in high school.  i want to love & be loved like that again.  do you remember?  it was like you couldn't breathe until he was with you again.  you couldn't wait to be together, both of you giddy with anticipation of just seeing each other!  i haven't found that in my 40s.  has anyone?  i'd like some hope!